Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Fear and Loathing in 2009

First, Happy New Year... to the poor souls who, for some unexplained reason, continue to read this blog. Now that that's out of the way...

As we bid adieu and good riddance to 2008, a year that personally is just another one in the long line of bad years, we now look to 2009 with baited breath if not a healthy dose of cynicism. Much like 07 and 08, the new year begs plenty of questions that, for some apparent reason pop up whenever the last number of the year changes. This leads me to inquire as to just what is it with people and realizing life questions based on dates?

For better or worse, 2009 is finally upon us. Which of course gives us the illusion of renewed hope and paper-thin vigor that we hope to see us through a chance for change. But for me at least, 2009 is more of a period that brings nothing but fear and loathing.

Fear, for the fact that was lies ahead I am pretty sure will be challenging if not depressing. Things don't just magically change or are we subjected a clean slate, a fresh start, a new dawn or what-have-you. In this case, it is the fear that my overly cynical views have jaded me to the point of numbness or better yet, blindness - Never realizing what good is in front of me and instead, go after that which can never be, or something overly dramatic and deep like that.

Loathing, for the mistakes that will eventually come back to haunt us in the new year. Which probably brings us back to fear, for the consequences are slowly but surely becoming a reality. In 2008, I was an idiot that decided I knew better yet knew pretty much nothing. I took the moral high road of nothing and ended up with failed aspirations, regrets and closed doors.

And yet despite all the negativity, I feel somewhat renewed. I know fully well that this year can and will get better, and not because I believe it can't get any worse, but because I know that I am wiser and stronger.

2009 will be coming like a bitch on a vendetta, but I can't help but smile. For better or worse, I relish the idea that at this year will be more interesting and amusing than the previous one with utmost certainty.