Perhaps one of the most underrated bands in the 90s, Collective Soul will forever remain, as one of the author's favorite bands. Debuting in 1993, the Atlanta-based band's Hints, Allegations, and Things Left Unsaid album contained a little gem of a song entitled "Goodnight, Good Guy". While the intro of the song featured an upbeat chord progression, the solemnity of the song and the message behind (at least to me) is where it derives it's magic.
"Goodnight, Good Guy" describes a person close to the song's protagonist, a male figure who, according to the chorus, imparts wisdom, comfort and guidance. As the stanzas progress, it is implied that Mr. Good Guy here is seemingly gone with a clear indication of the protagonist's longing for the man's company. Toward the end, a resolution as made as the singer finally accepts the reality of this absence and lets go.
August 23 marks the 62nd birthday of a great man, who I have the privilege to call father. Conrado "Dodie" Casas de Leon may have passed away nearly 4 years ago, his legacy and memory remains with several people otherwise known as my family. In a sense, he was my "Good Guy" and much like the singer, I miss his guidance, his advice and more importantly, "be the one to tell me everything's all right."
While the last couple of years have me in stumbling through life feeling lost due to his absence, I am, thankfully, slowly getting back on my feet. A big part of that lies in the knowledge that somehow, someway, my Good Guy lives through me. The values, the memories and the love that he gave me will see me through to whatever path lies ahead of me.
So Dad, thank you for everything and happy birthday. I'm gonna let you sleep, Ill let you fade off in the night. I pray the lord to keep, I pray the lord to hold you tight. Goodnight, Good Guy.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Things Left Unsaid
In a somewhat expected act of pedantry, I found myself proverbially shitting bricks after watching a crude anime show called Detective Conan. While I don't understand how a high profile detective is drugged and has gone missing for several weeks does not raise any kind of clamor in the investigative community much less the protagonists social circle (nevermind he re-emerges as a child that is adopted by his girlfriend's family), the series does have its merits. While not in the realm of Sherlock Holmes/Dr. House M.D. investigative genius built upon meticulous observation of detail, the cases are mind boggling enough to keep one entertained for an hour or so.
This particular episode dealt with a rockstar (a royal douche that looks like the bastard child of Cloud Strife and Vash the Stampede, I don't even wanna know how that is plausible but that's the first thing that stuck to my mind) who is poisoned by his manager and ex-bandmate who is pissed off because the victim kept making her sing Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. Later it was explained it was due to that prior to being band manager the killer was not attractive and had undergone surgery due to being apparently madly in love with the victim. With me so far? It gets better.
Turns out the victim would've reciprocated that love but is upset because of the surgery, making him a bitter, bitter man who continously agitates the love of his life to the point the she sumarrily kills him. How tragic.
Of course the story is surprisingly deep for a Japanese animation with a 7-10 year-old manchild as a the lead. These two people, killer and victim, could've avoided all the pain and tragedy had they only had the heart to express their true feelings for each other. As cheesy as that sounds, how many do we know fall to this same trap and end up wallowing in several, cooked-up "what if" scenarios.
While the consequences of failing to express true intent may not be as dire as depicted in the show, such situations are still somewhat tragic. Of course, there is wisdom in having certain things best left unsaid. But more often than not, this situations are best put in the "ignorance is bliss" category.
For every action is an equal reaction. The principle is that keeping mum about such things are a way of playing it safe and avoiding to solicit a reaction. Of course, the problem with such a concept is there is no stimulae that would otherwise generate an outcome. And stories without outcomes can be quite annoying.
Whatever it is that left unsaid, may eventually come to light, or fade into obscurity. At the end however, being able to said what is needed to be said can grant a sense of release, whether the outcome is favorable or not.
Shame I can't seem to follow that logic sometimes.
This particular episode dealt with a rockstar (a royal douche that looks like the bastard child of Cloud Strife and Vash the Stampede, I don't even wanna know how that is plausible but that's the first thing that stuck to my mind) who is poisoned by his manager and ex-bandmate who is pissed off because the victim kept making her sing Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. Later it was explained it was due to that prior to being band manager the killer was not attractive and had undergone surgery due to being apparently madly in love with the victim. With me so far? It gets better.
Turns out the victim would've reciprocated that love but is upset because of the surgery, making him a bitter, bitter man who continously agitates the love of his life to the point the she sumarrily kills him. How tragic.
Of course the story is surprisingly deep for a Japanese animation with a 7-10 year-old manchild as a the lead. These two people, killer and victim, could've avoided all the pain and tragedy had they only had the heart to express their true feelings for each other. As cheesy as that sounds, how many do we know fall to this same trap and end up wallowing in several, cooked-up "what if" scenarios.
While the consequences of failing to express true intent may not be as dire as depicted in the show, such situations are still somewhat tragic. Of course, there is wisdom in having certain things best left unsaid. But more often than not, this situations are best put in the "ignorance is bliss" category.
For every action is an equal reaction. The principle is that keeping mum about such things are a way of playing it safe and avoiding to solicit a reaction. Of course, the problem with such a concept is there is no stimulae that would otherwise generate an outcome. And stories without outcomes can be quite annoying.
Whatever it is that left unsaid, may eventually come to light, or fade into obscurity. At the end however, being able to said what is needed to be said can grant a sense of release, whether the outcome is favorable or not.
Shame I can't seem to follow that logic sometimes.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Secrets
Everyone has secrets. No exceptions.
Some secrets exist because of hope. Hope that things in the end will work out, or will simply come to be. Despite the logical flaws, the improbability of the situation or the scenario presented, hope floats as a beacon of delusions that mar better judgment, the decision to simply walk away or act upon it. So the secret remains hidden, shared to few if at all. The truth being the most effective lock to the proverbial Pandora's Box of failed aspirations, pain and regret.
Other secrets exist as a byproduct of goals, ambitions and agendas. Kept only to forward these clandestine goals. Such trump cards are used for devious and noble means. They can harm as well as they can protect, all dependent on the wielder's discretion. Knowledge is power after all, and even the most nonsensical fact and fleeting tidbits can prove vital given the right situation.
However, secrets are not predicated on those two alone. Shame, hate, pride and a bevy of human emotions are reasons enough to keep things hidden from others. Whatever secrets lay behind the minds of a man or woman, they are tucked neatly away because of fear, fear that the truth, the harsh and brutal truth will be known and the facade will be ultimately washed away.
Truth is not only the lock, but it is the key as well. As it is, secrets are truths, for good or ill. The deepest and darkest secrets are the truest and purest. Whether malicious or not, the honesty and the sincerity of such cannot be questioned.
Secrets when revealed are often amusing, shocking, if not downright sad. They explain many things, one's hopes, one's agendas and one's true intent (obviously). In the end however, the best secrets are those that can be said without Hope or Agenda, but simply said in all of it's honesty.
So to someone very special, this I say unto you, hoping and aspiring for nothing but for you to know, that I love you.
Sadly and perhaps fortunately, you'll never really know.
Some secrets exist because of hope. Hope that things in the end will work out, or will simply come to be. Despite the logical flaws, the improbability of the situation or the scenario presented, hope floats as a beacon of delusions that mar better judgment, the decision to simply walk away or act upon it. So the secret remains hidden, shared to few if at all. The truth being the most effective lock to the proverbial Pandora's Box of failed aspirations, pain and regret.
Other secrets exist as a byproduct of goals, ambitions and agendas. Kept only to forward these clandestine goals. Such trump cards are used for devious and noble means. They can harm as well as they can protect, all dependent on the wielder's discretion. Knowledge is power after all, and even the most nonsensical fact and fleeting tidbits can prove vital given the right situation.
However, secrets are not predicated on those two alone. Shame, hate, pride and a bevy of human emotions are reasons enough to keep things hidden from others. Whatever secrets lay behind the minds of a man or woman, they are tucked neatly away because of fear, fear that the truth, the harsh and brutal truth will be known and the facade will be ultimately washed away.
Truth is not only the lock, but it is the key as well. As it is, secrets are truths, for good or ill. The deepest and darkest secrets are the truest and purest. Whether malicious or not, the honesty and the sincerity of such cannot be questioned.
Secrets when revealed are often amusing, shocking, if not downright sad. They explain many things, one's hopes, one's agendas and one's true intent (obviously). In the end however, the best secrets are those that can be said without Hope or Agenda, but simply said in all of it's honesty.
So to someone very special, this I say unto you, hoping and aspiring for nothing but for you to know, that I love you.
Sadly and perhaps fortunately, you'll never really know.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Don't Dream It's Over
Dreamers are often stereotyped as idiots who chase rainbows and fall flat on their faces. Meanwhile, most dreamers would like to be seen as people who make their own reality to achieve their dreams and goals. While it may sound ludicrous to claim at first, but truly, looking at it there isn't much difference between the two interpretations.
People who overextend their ambitions towards the ebb and flow of the sea of reality are shunned for the mere fact that well, what they wish is at best improbable. Now, dreaming is free but that's just the very problem. One must usually gain something at a cost. Being stuck with the notion of "dreams are free" is counter productive. Achieving dreams usually come at a great cost or at the very least, a compromise in the existing situation.
Until one finally understands that making dreams come true comes in exchange or sacrifice of something else, then perhaps the ability to manipulate factors and strive towards the goal will be sufficiently possible. Not a guarantee but perhaps failure in this case could lead to a new dream or the REAL dream that one was blind to in the first place.
This however begs the question, at what costs will one be willing to pay just to achieve their dreams?
People who overextend their ambitions towards the ebb and flow of the sea of reality are shunned for the mere fact that well, what they wish is at best improbable. Now, dreaming is free but that's just the very problem. One must usually gain something at a cost. Being stuck with the notion of "dreams are free" is counter productive. Achieving dreams usually come at a great cost or at the very least, a compromise in the existing situation.
Until one finally understands that making dreams come true comes in exchange or sacrifice of something else, then perhaps the ability to manipulate factors and strive towards the goal will be sufficiently possible. Not a guarantee but perhaps failure in this case could lead to a new dream or the REAL dream that one was blind to in the first place.
This however begs the question, at what costs will one be willing to pay just to achieve their dreams?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Histories
Those who refuse to learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.... or some hogwash like that.
While everyday man and woman do not live in times of turmoil that are the makings of grand narratives like that of World Wars or epic hero ballads, it is our relationships that serve as our version of history.
While deceptively mundane, a person's history is an amusing read at what he or she was, has become and quite possibly, will be. In fact, looking back at all those long list of friends and significant others that have come and gone is an enlightening activity that should be done whenever the current situation permits.
Majority of people would prefer to keep such things hidden or forgotten. People preach the need for closure and sometimes the best way to achieve that is to retrace one's steps. Closure is nice and all but sometimes a lesson must be learned. A relationship that ended and thought you nothing is a waste of time and more than likely just as deep and meaningful as that last fling or one night stand.
Some may get it right the first time and not even have a chance to build a history. These people are either so ridiculously fortunate or are in for a severe and disappointing ending. Shit happens.
Still, having a history and being able to recount it with someone who's shared that history is an experience that bests describes progress. People change, perhaps retrospect will allow one to view the history in a new perspective, and coming into peace with that will assure that regret will be kept at bay.
Face it, the past is just as much as a part of life and viewing it as something irrelevant is folly and ignorance in its purest form. So pick up the phone, call someone from the past up, and maybe, just maybe, one will learn something that day.
While everyday man and woman do not live in times of turmoil that are the makings of grand narratives like that of World Wars or epic hero ballads, it is our relationships that serve as our version of history.
While deceptively mundane, a person's history is an amusing read at what he or she was, has become and quite possibly, will be. In fact, looking back at all those long list of friends and significant others that have come and gone is an enlightening activity that should be done whenever the current situation permits.
Majority of people would prefer to keep such things hidden or forgotten. People preach the need for closure and sometimes the best way to achieve that is to retrace one's steps. Closure is nice and all but sometimes a lesson must be learned. A relationship that ended and thought you nothing is a waste of time and more than likely just as deep and meaningful as that last fling or one night stand.
Some may get it right the first time and not even have a chance to build a history. These people are either so ridiculously fortunate or are in for a severe and disappointing ending. Shit happens.
Still, having a history and being able to recount it with someone who's shared that history is an experience that bests describes progress. People change, perhaps retrospect will allow one to view the history in a new perspective, and coming into peace with that will assure that regret will be kept at bay.
Face it, the past is just as much as a part of life and viewing it as something irrelevant is folly and ignorance in its purest form. So pick up the phone, call someone from the past up, and maybe, just maybe, one will learn something that day.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Auspicious Day
August 8, 2008 (08-08-08) is considered by many as an auspicious day. Merely because of the numerical coincidence and not much else. Others may attribute a negative connotation to such days depending on one's religion or superstitious orientation.
But really, is there such a thing as an auspicious day? Can the Lady of Fortune's (or Misfortune) smile truly shine the brightest on days of numerical significance? Luck, as it is, seems to be on everyone's mind on such days, an epidemic that may simply condition impressionable minds to do things they would otherwise not normally do.
Perhaps it's all in the mind. We consider it to be our lucky day because we've fooled ourselves to thinking that it is. A man may suddenly get the courage and confidence to reveal certain secrets under the influence of believing illogical flights of fancy. If things don't go his way what then? The blame has to be placed somewhere and it is somewhat convenient to once again to place on unforeseen circumstances outside of the mortal ken.
Of course, there are times that such things do turn out for the best. Indeed a dash of confidence can do wonders, no matter the source. If it works, it's probably adequate. A mindset can do so much to change outcomes and situations. Scenarios are run perfectly given the right mindset, or so wrongly if the contrary is true.
Still, it's a lot like saying that thinking positively allows us a modicum of control over the situation. As if the, by sheer force of will, we manipulate the forces around us to a favorable outcome. That would be such an enticing idea, if we can just forget the fact that other people actually have their own scenarios, agendas, mindsets and that little thing called free will. No big deal right?
Auspicious day or no, it is the mindset, the belief that drives us to do amazing feats or fail miserably. But if that mindset is brought about by a paper thin belief of luck on certain moon cycles or geometric position who really cares? In the end, all that matters are the results.
But really, is there such a thing as an auspicious day? Can the Lady of Fortune's (or Misfortune) smile truly shine the brightest on days of numerical significance? Luck, as it is, seems to be on everyone's mind on such days, an epidemic that may simply condition impressionable minds to do things they would otherwise not normally do.
Perhaps it's all in the mind. We consider it to be our lucky day because we've fooled ourselves to thinking that it is. A man may suddenly get the courage and confidence to reveal certain secrets under the influence of believing illogical flights of fancy. If things don't go his way what then? The blame has to be placed somewhere and it is somewhat convenient to once again to place on unforeseen circumstances outside of the mortal ken.
Of course, there are times that such things do turn out for the best. Indeed a dash of confidence can do wonders, no matter the source. If it works, it's probably adequate. A mindset can do so much to change outcomes and situations. Scenarios are run perfectly given the right mindset, or so wrongly if the contrary is true.
Still, it's a lot like saying that thinking positively allows us a modicum of control over the situation. As if the, by sheer force of will, we manipulate the forces around us to a favorable outcome. That would be such an enticing idea, if we can just forget the fact that other people actually have their own scenarios, agendas, mindsets and that little thing called free will. No big deal right?
Auspicious day or no, it is the mindset, the belief that drives us to do amazing feats or fail miserably. But if that mindset is brought about by a paper thin belief of luck on certain moon cycles or geometric position who really cares? In the end, all that matters are the results.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Happy Birthday Mrs. De Leon
August 2 marks the birthday of the woman who gave birth to the Rambler. Now, now, don't go chasing her with pitchforks and torches, not her fault that her infernal progeny would turn out to be senseless hack and overanalyzing prick.
Despite her provincial upbringing, mother dearest has tried her darndest to provide for the family even after losing my dad to pancreatic cancer some 4 years ago. Even before that, she would always find ways to put us through school or provide all the vices and pleasantries of modern life. The Rambler only wishes that he can achieve half of what they've done in this lifetime.
That's the great thing about GOOD parents. They know us more than we'd like but they never really rub it in our faces (unless it's the tired and tested "in my time, we were poorer" speech.) They may have their faults and most of the time we don't get them, but hey, we have our faults and most of the time they don't get us! Somehow, the saying "you'll understand when you start raising your own kids" begins to make sense. Trying to deconstruct such a concept is a waste of time. It's just true and you'll get it when you do get there.
So to my mater, I thank you and I know I don't say it enough. I love you.
Despite her provincial upbringing, mother dearest has tried her darndest to provide for the family even after losing my dad to pancreatic cancer some 4 years ago. Even before that, she would always find ways to put us through school or provide all the vices and pleasantries of modern life. The Rambler only wishes that he can achieve half of what they've done in this lifetime.
That's the great thing about GOOD parents. They know us more than we'd like but they never really rub it in our faces (unless it's the tired and tested "in my time, we were poorer" speech.) They may have their faults and most of the time we don't get them, but hey, we have our faults and most of the time they don't get us! Somehow, the saying "you'll understand when you start raising your own kids" begins to make sense. Trying to deconstruct such a concept is a waste of time. It's just true and you'll get it when you do get there.
So to my mater, I thank you and I know I don't say it enough. I love you.
Protection
Protect the ones you love is such a simple principle. Individuals that are linked to you through kinship, mutual understanding or admiration are the ones that enjoy such a privilege. While few people can really claim to be altruistic, the idea of defending those we care about is crystal clear logic, despite evidence to the contrary.
Of course this begs the question, what if that show of obvious affection is not reciprocated? What if efforts to belay harm from the mark does not even warrant a reaction much less recognition? Is this a sign of blind martyrdom or vain attempts at soliciting a reward and forward an agenda? Why protect someone who doesn’t even want you around?
Selflessness manifested in this manner would seem ultimately hapless. However who is to argue that the reasons given to continue this futile crusade are faulty? Never mind that perhaps the reciprocation or reward could still be remotely possible. Given the right context, this could be a clear sign of unconditional love. It’s a rare context but it does seem probable.
Is discontinuation the best option? Persistence is an admirable trait, no doubt. However one is exposed to the danger of foregoing other opportunities due to the effort exerted in protecting this person.
Protect the ones you love IS a simple concept, but we should always remember to protect ourselves first. After all, if you can’t help yourself, how do you expect to help others?
Of course this begs the question, what if that show of obvious affection is not reciprocated? What if efforts to belay harm from the mark does not even warrant a reaction much less recognition? Is this a sign of blind martyrdom or vain attempts at soliciting a reward and forward an agenda? Why protect someone who doesn’t even want you around?
Selflessness manifested in this manner would seem ultimately hapless. However who is to argue that the reasons given to continue this futile crusade are faulty? Never mind that perhaps the reciprocation or reward could still be remotely possible. Given the right context, this could be a clear sign of unconditional love. It’s a rare context but it does seem probable.
Is discontinuation the best option? Persistence is an admirable trait, no doubt. However one is exposed to the danger of foregoing other opportunities due to the effort exerted in protecting this person.
Protect the ones you love IS a simple concept, but we should always remember to protect ourselves first. After all, if you can’t help yourself, how do you expect to help others?
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