Saturday, June 20, 2009

Right Guy, Right Time

"The good guys are either taken or gay?"

I'm sure we've all heard this before (and if you haven't, get a life, seriously). Most men who've heard this from a befriended prospect have probably felt the urge to wave their hands around and shout "EXCUSE ME, I'M RIGHT HERE!". Those who haven't been in such a situation are pretty lucky or at least know when to pick their battles.

Seriously, this is why I can't help but think the world is one sick little joke. When the label of "nice guy" stops being the final nail on the coffin to your campaign of romance rather than a plus or indication that you're nearing your goal, then maybe I'll start thinking that this world is all about sunshine and rainbows. Alas, that is most often or not the case. Tough.

Friend told me once, I'm just bitter. I asked this friend to tell me I'm wrong, she can't, say I'm really just bitter. Whether she accepts it or not, I have no idea. But yes, I am bitter about it. When a prospect has full knowledge of your intentions tells you that there are no more decent men out there, I consider that a hint. Am I reading too much into it? Perhaps I am. But it does paint quite the picture, a very unpleasant one.

What was it that Famke Jansen's iteration of Jean Grey said? Oh yeah: Girls flirt with the dangerous guy, Logan. They don't take him home. They marry the good guy. So maybe there is hope. Yeah sure, anyone who fits the description of a good guy is going to love that. Thank you for reinforcing the notion that "Nice guys finish last." That'll make him feel better. (Protip: it won't)

Of course, the question is, how sure are we that we are the right person for someone? It's quite arrogant to claim that you're everything that girl is looking for if you think about it. You may be the decent old chap, never hurt anyone, and would probably provide your mark with everything she may ever need. But that doesn't guarantee you're perfect for her. Human beings are so dynamic that while personally types can give you a general idea of how a person reacts to things, it's still not iron clad, and people do change, and lie.

Then there's that notion of timing. I'd elaborate but really, timing is relative to a person who claims that they're just waiting for the right time. It could cover a number of events, phenomena or dialog, bottomline is, you will never get it and will probably just be lucky you got the timing right.

Unfortunately, best way around this beautiful little mess is to stick to it, suck it up, and plow through. Eventually the answers will come and you don't end up on the friend zone.

Still think it's a cruel joke though.

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