Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Game. Set. Match.

[photo taken fromlouiseloveselvis (Louise Morgan)'s photostream]

In the game of life, there are winners, and there are losers. Losers will tell you that there is no game, but that's just them trying to make their loss go away. Me? I'm not afraid to admit defeat. Because for every loss and failure is a lesson. That is not to say, that the pain of that shortcoming isn't felt, or regretted.

A person can only take so much, and sometimes, all it takes is one bad day to change a person forever. That bad day already came, and yes, it did change everything. But what happens when another comes along? Will the change be as drastic, or will the soul finally succumb to the madness?

So here I am, another bad day, or should it be a year? Doesn't matter. It hurts just as much. A man can only try to see the bright side for so long until he is reminded how unfair and cruel the world is. All that left is hate and regret. But not hate for anyone. More on hate for myself, because I knew what I was getting into, I knew the consequences, and more importantly, I knew the impossibility of it all.

I'm sorry if I wasted your time. I'm sorry if I overstepped my boundaries. I'm sorry if I was too forward. And more importantly, I'm sorry that I broke my promise that nothing need change. At the same time, thank you, for reminding me exactly why I am the way I am: A bitter cynic who trusts very little, and always expects people to lie and ultimately disappoint you.

Where does this take me? Who knows. All I know is right now, I need to lay low, heal up and hopefully bounce back. There will be a lot of bitterness, I can't help it. But know that I am never blaming you, just me.

3 comments:

Marc said...

Let the debauchery begin!!! :)

seven said...

this is just sad..I can't stop the tears from flowing...

also, my word verification was HATER. How apropo.

Coy de Leon said...

@seven, dude, sometimes I ask myself, why the fuck are we friends again?