Making a study that spans a number of yearly cycles is nowhere near this author's forte, and to be quite honest, neither is Mathematics. As numerically challenged as this author is, an attempt at discovering the algorithms of Christmas is not entirely out of the question. It's not so much as an inquiry of why, or discovering the relevance of such an endeavor has in the grand scheme of things, but more or less a pursuit that can be best described as fueled by the need to do something other than slip into a catatonic state of inaction.
The theory goes that the age of a person is inversely proportional to the amount of phat lewt (or as celebrants of the birth of certain messianic infant, "gifts") one receives during these times of Yule. Granted, this could be an isolated case of one's upbringing and differs from person to person. Still, boredom dictates that formulation continues. To put it simply, as one’s purchasing power increases (bums and hobos not included) instead of your peers giving more gifts, it seems mightily absent. The reason is of course, lost in a pile of sweet and putrid fruit cake, meaning, it’s rather pointless to speculate further as the mind is already slipping due to the sheer stupidity of what’s been written so far.
However there seems to be a reverse of the trend when one sadly departs the domain of singledom and "settles down" to raise a family (How can anyone call it settling down when it's infinitely more chaotic than single life is simply mind boggling.). That is, if one was fortunate enough to have other poor souls to join in the procreation of the human species and suffer the responsibility of raising parasitical devices of devastation, or children, as they’re most often called. Yes, that’s the dumbest drivel to ever come off my fingertips, and the dumbassery can only get worse.
Ok, now the buzz has been killed, time to move back to contemplating the power of cheese with regards to celestial bodies and the destruction of the universe.