Saturday, May 31, 2008

Courtship

I never really believed in courtship. Granted I've tried it before (successfully and unsuccessfully). But as we grow older it just seem like a dance, filled with the usual pleasantries and tried and tested modus operandi designed to put the best foot forward. While some of that could be sincere, you can never take away that it's all a big giant act, a show, a charade. Theatrics meant to woo an audience with a promise that the script won't change. Unfortunately, that's not really the case, whether you want to believe that or not.

I'm a firm advocate of putting down all the cards, for both sides. "These are my quirks, my idiosynchrosese, my flaws and my true feelings towards you. Let's see if we click." Why is it so hard to do this? Granted there are couples who start off as such, but they are more the exception rather than the rule. Admittedly there is some appeal to age-old romanticism surrounding the practice of courtship, but in this day and age wherein gender roles are evolving to be more and more similar, the appeal is easily lost in steady stream of complexities. The premise (which is mutual attraction between two individuals) remains mostly the same, but the setting has gone beyond the innocent and arguably naieve narrative of olden times.

Instead we're still playing chess, hiding our true motives with a series of strategic feignts, positioning and whatnot. Maybe that's why they keep saying there's a thin line between love and hate. That's not to say, one shouldn't send flowers, forego serenades or pass on writing love letters and poems, but rather ask for something that should be present in any type of relationship: Honesty.

"You Complete Me", is just about the biggest crock of bullshit to come out of popular media. Admittedly, at first glance it does sound sweet, romantic and heart warming. But ultimately it's in line with this incessant web-weaving of deciet that I've been ranting about. Even worse is that despite how much I like the movie in which that line originated from, it's hardly in context and you don't really see how Jerry Maguire was incomplete withouth Dorothy Boyd.

Maybe, instead of fiinding someone to complete us, we should be complete for the ones we love. Because it is at that point, when we find ourselves complete, that we can come up to someone and tell them "I like you. We click, we get along. You know my agenda, my intentions. Your interests and mine may or may not coincide, but I feel drawn to them. What say we explore this and see if this goes deeper?" It is only when your convictions are true and sure that this will come of sincere.

Then again, this could be why I've been single for two years....

2 comments:

^VinS^ said...

The 3rd paragraph says it all... *some of us are like that*

Coy de Leon said...

I hate playing Chess...